Queries: 123
Requests: 3 partials
In my inbox: 10 partials* and a reply from someone asking a question I need to think about

*Weeping here. But today is the Day Of Partials. Jeff is going out with some friends for '80s day at a place in town and, not being smitten with the decade of my birth, I'm staying here. My lack of Fun is your gain!

--

1. This one says "Dear Sirs" and explains the structure of the book, not quite what the book is about.

It also spells "agent" incorrectly, doesn't sign a name, and includes the first three chapters as an attachment.

"Dear Nameless Author" returns!

2. What's the deal with these epically bad queries? There's pictures with them, lots of presuming where they'll end up (TV or the theaters), and they're all graciously going to let Jenny hang around for the ride.

And they can't spellcheck.

3. KILLCRUSHDESTROY!!!!!

How to enrage a Jodi:

a. Send the same (unrevised) query letter four times, BCCed to many agents.
b. Receive a "please stop sending this" email.
c. Send the same (unrevised) query again, BCCed to many agents.
d. Receive a final warning email.
e. Write back "Until [title] is published, you will be queried."
f. Send the same (unrevised) query yet again, BCCed to many agents.

KILLCRUSHDESTROYCAPSLOCKEXCLAMATIONPOINTS!!!!

I think I'm pretty calm about things (heh) like people who write back stupid emails and use capslock to communicate. These slush stats are good for venting and sharing the crayzee.

But this.

*growl*

(Since that incident, I have gotten 3 more queries from him. Yes, they're blocked, but in the same way CAPSLOCK GUY's emails come through as spam, so does this guy's. Jenny is looking into auto-delete. Yes, this is a sign of my utter loathing. Not even CAPSLOCK GUY gets auto-delete.)

4. Even if you have some really kind rejection letters on your full manuscript, please consider not sending them along with your query letters. It's tacky.

5. Query blurb in...second person? I feel so used.

The pages are in third person.

--

So recently someone asked what makes me turn down an otherwise nice query letter.

Usually the book just isn't right for the agency. Could be the subject, or a genre Jenny doesn't represent, or we already have an author with a book like that -- and really we don't need two.

But sometimes I run across a query for a book that would be perfect for the agency. Except I turn it down. Why?

Usually it's the writing in the sample pages.

I suspect asking Jenny to change the guidelines to ask for pages was one of the smartest moves I've made as an assistant. Before, I'd sometimes request a partial, get through the first few pages, and realize that the writer had a good idea, but needed work on prose or hooks or whatever. I'd have to write back and break the bad news to them, and seriously, writing rejection letters for partials and fulls sucks. Not because I have to figure out what didn't work, but because I know there's a person on the other side of the email and they've got their fingers crossed.

Partial requests...they don't seem like very much to me. I have more commitment than with a query letter, but it's still minimal. (Even as a writer, partials aren't a big deal to me. They did, once, so I do remember.) But I know to a lot of people, getting a partial request is a Big Thing, and it's got to hurt getting a note back saying "prose needs work".

I like this new way with pages in the query letter. It does mean the first five pages have to be good enough to make me want more, but they do in partials, too. And I think it ends up saving everyone a lot of time if I can diagnose the problem just from the sample pages. Furthermore, I can say things like, "Tighten up the writing and query again," without getting either of us into the emotional roller coaster of a Request.

So that's it. At some point, it stops being about the query letter. Really, query blurbs are only ~200 words long. You can make them thrilling and wonderful, but it is hard. Lots of us have to settle for "decent." I think lots of agents are able to see the potential even in a decent query letter and give the writing a chance. Once that's happened, it's about the sample pages and whether they make the agent/assistant want to read more.

I don't always tell people where they lost me. I don't have that kind of time, and real agents have even less, but occasionally I get the chance, or the query letter really strikes me as oozing potential and I make time.

All that to say, if your query letter works (you've had smart crit partners approve, or you're getting requests off it when no sample pages are asked for), and you're not getting what you want still, the next place to look is the manuscript itself.